The 2022 Midterms are now behind us. Some of my candidates won by very thin margins. Some lost by equally thin margins. Assuming you voted – you did vote – didn’t you? I sure hope so. Assuming you did, I figure it must be the same for you. This Thanksgiving, some political families are exuberant about keeping or starting their terms in office. Other political families are licking wounds and wondering, what now?

It is always a good time for giving thanks, but especially so now. Though there was neither a blue nor red wave, there was the opportunity to go forth from our homes to express our preferences at the ballot box. We, the people, still have the right – and the responsibility – to state our beliefs, hopes, dreams, fears, preferences, and choices.

I’ve been thinking about the concept of fallow lately. This Thanksgiving, I’m in a fallow place personally. I’m no longer in my former home in Houston. I’m not yet moved into my next home in Columbus. I am in a fallow place. Resting. Settling. Waiting. Remembering so many wonderful moments. Anticipating what the future may hold but having no way of actually knowing. It is a fallow time, and I’m exceedingly grateful for it.

My built-in computer dictionary, which I consider one of the modern miracles right up  there with ice makers, microwaves, and e-mail, defines fallow thusly: “plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility as part of a crop rotation. . .long fallow periods when nothing seems to happen.”

If oak trees could speak, they would tell us that they got their strength and start from a tiny acorn buried deep in the earth. For all appearances, it seemed as though nothing was happening or ever would. But then, a tiny root goes down deeper into the earth while a splinter of a shoot reaches up for the sun. Over time, the result is the magnificent, mighty oak tree.

Thanksgiving is a good time to pause from all the frenzy that has come to define the USA political scene. Whether your candidates won or lost, the elections are over, with the exception of a few run-offs. It’s time to pause. It is a time for giving thanks and pondering all for which we can be grateful. It is a time to enjoy the people around us, the beauty of the changing seasons, the completed harvests, and opportunities to maintain and forge friendships.

There is much that needs addressing in this country. We have allowed loud, angry voices to carve us up into subgroups, like the traditional Thanksgiving turkey into white and dark meat. We are more than red or blue, urban or rural, north or south, East Coast or West Coast. Yet there remains much for which to be grateful in this red, white, and blue country. Giving thanks again is good for our mental health, our relationships with one another, and the health of our shared homeland. Giving thanks again is good for what ails us.

Less frenzy. More fallow as we wrap up the balance of this year and prepare for whatever shall come our way in the next.

Wherever, however, you observe Thanksgiving Day, I hope it includes a bit of fallow time for giving thanks again. As for me and my household, I also hope it includes turkey, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin something.

I’m grateful for each of you who take the time to read this. Blessings on your time of giving thanks again.

Mayflower Chronicles: The Tale of Two Cultures is about the events leading up to our traditional Thanksgiving. There’s much more to the story than you learned in school. I’d love to speak to your book club or organization about this fascinating history. Contact me at HowWiseThen to make arrangements. Sign up to receive free weekly blogs and/or a monthly newsletter there as well. If you enjoyed this article, share it with a friend.

Mayflower Chronicles: The Tale of Two Cultures covers the Pilgrim’s escape from England and their interactions with the Pokanoket people. Available wherever books are sold in paperback, eBook, and audio.
Bookshop.org (Supporting local Indie Bookshops)
Amazon.com/Mayflower-Chronicles-Tale-Two-Cultures/
BarnesandNoble.com/w/mayflower-chronicles-kathryn-haueisen/
Autographed copies are available from my website or BlueWillowBookShop.com/book/

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Writing about our inconveniencies seems ridiculous compared to their plight from November 1620 through the following spring thaw. The weather then was probably comparable to what we experienced in Houston last week – temps in the teens and in places below that. Though we were cold, the house temperature only dropped to the lower 50s. We have a gas stove to prepare warm meals and endless hot drinks. The Mayflower lacked such luxuries.

An Ounce of Prevention

Anticipating the pipes might freeze, we turned off the water and drained the water into numerous pots and pans. Good thing we did. By mid-week we were advised to boil all tap water before consuming it. The people on the Mayflower didn’t have running water. They drank beer, a safer option than water, and used chamber pots to handle necessary functions. There was no privacy. It repulses me thinking about it; let alone living that way. Though the voyage was only two months, they were onboard for two months before they actually sailed and lived on the ship a couple more months after arriving, until they built their first shelter. First, they had to chop down the trees for the wood to make the shelter. We had to find some matches to light the gas stove and remember where we stored the extra batteries to run the flashlights.

The events of last week, combined with spending hours each week back in the 1500 and 1600s doing research, got me to thinking about life in the 21^st Century. I am conflicted.

Stuck Between Grief and Gratitude

Years ago, I did my required Clinical Pastor Education (CPE) training at Houston Hermann Hospital before it became Memorial Hermann. One day I was given the task of convincing a new mother she had to name her twins for their birth certificates and go home. She was stuck. One twin had died almost immediately after birth. When she mourned that baby, she felt guilty for not being grateful for the life of the surviving twin. If she rejoiced at the birth of her healthy baby, she felt guilty for not mourning the dead one.

Her family wasn’t helping. They kept reminding her, “At least you have one.” My assignment was to talk her into moving on. I had no words of wisdom to offer. All I had to offer her were two ears and a few tears at her plight. One of the things they drill into us in CPE training is the power of just showing up. I probably spent an hour or so with her, saying very little. She didn’t say much either as I recall. Somehow being together for a few minutes in the midst of such a conflicted moment gave her the ability to comply with the hospital’s request to name her babies, and prepare to take the living one home with her.

Grateful and Yet Frustrated

My days of naming babies ended a long time ago; but I am today about where this young mother was in that hospital room long ago – conflicted. If I count my blessings, I feel guilty for all the privileges I had even in the midst of the challenges of last week. Though our home was cold and dark by 6:30 p.m., we have a good home with insulation and plenty of warm blankets and clothing. Though we lacked power, we have a gas stove to prepare warm meals. Though we lacked running water, we had water and a way to heat it. I am grateful for all this.

And yet it was a miserable week. Without power I soon drained the computer and could no longer use it. The phone reception dropped to nearly nothing in the house, rendering anything related to digital or voice communication slow or non-existent. A couple of times we moved the car to a nearby parking lot where we got reception to send and receive e-mails, listen to the news, recharge the phones, and warm up. All luxuries to be sure.

Life Elsewhere

I’ve travel to places where none of these resources exist. I’ve been hosted by a woman whose “bathroom” is an outhouse, whose “bedroom” is a hammock under a canvas canopy, and whose “kitchen” is a charcoal grill outside that “bedroom.” Her situation was neither rare nor temporary. That is how she and her family lived until Habitat for Humanity selected her family to get one of the new homes Habitat was building in her community.

She, along with others, kept food coming, meal after meal when they could barely feed themselves. I think the local Habitat affiliate paid for the food they prepared for us. I hope so. I and my team members slept in relative luxury at night in a hotel a few miles away.

Asking Questions That Lack Answers

My conflicted response probably comes from too much time to ponder a question that has no adequate answer: “Why?” Why are some condemned to live in squalor and misery while others live in comfort, surrounded with conveniences?

To whom much is given, much is expected. How are we who have so much, even in a week lacking heat and running water, to respond? I do not know, but I have some theories.

• I don’t believe anyone deserves to suffer any more than others deserve to prosper, though I know this theology was widely taught a century ago. Our actions do have consequences, but many of life’s circumstances are beyond our control – like the Texas Deep Freeze.
• The causes behind the circumstances are complex. It is so much easier to blame some scapegoat than work collaboratively to identify and implement workable solutions.
• Corny cliches are often true. The rain, and the freezing temperatures, really do fall on everyone, regardless of social status.
• We are all both sinners and saints. The amount of which trait dominates depends on which one we nurture.
• We are all interdependent on one another. Ultimately, there is no “we” vs. “them.” There is only one enormous “us.”

Better Days Ahead

The past year has rattled a lot of assumptions, upset semi-tractor size truckloads of plans, and continues to cause real danger and plenty of consternation We need one another in times of crisis, and yet the pandemic crisis keeps us apart or risks lives getting together.

Though we can’t control the weather, we can help one another. Deliver a meal. Write a check. Call to check up on people. Share the heat and safe water.

This scripture quote popped up this week in a journal friend Liz Johnson gave me: Finally, friends, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. (Philippians 4:8).

Spring is coming. That is certainly true, right, and lovely.

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Why wait for Thanksgiving to give thanks? Nurturing a gratitude attitude promotes overall good health. My friend and colleague, Sonia Solomonson, wrote a blog in her Way2Grow Coaching newsletter that perfectly captures what I had in mind, so this week’s blog is from her. Thank you, Sonia. More about her at the end of the blog.

In the U.S., November is the month in which we focus on gratitude. In a few weeks, we’ll celebrate Thanksgiving. At its best, that day is a time of gathering with family and friends to enjoy each other, often sharing foods potluck-style—and, one hopes, carving out time to reflect on those things for which we’re grateful. At its worst, it’s an orgy of over-consumption. We’ll go with the best now and focus on gratitude!

I’m sometimes surprised when people say they’re grateful they had cancer or a heart attack or went through divorce because it awakened them to the fullness of life in and around them. It made them more aware of the gifts and miracles in daily life that most of us so often race right past.  Have you experienced this yourself? Or heard others say it?

The Dayenu Litany

It reminds me of something I read about several years ago. It’s a song of gratitude used as part of the Jewish holiday of Passover and is called the dayenu litany. Dayenu can be roughly translated, “It would have been sufficient” or enough. The litany names something God has done for God’s people to which the response is “Dayenu” or “It would have been sufficient.” Then another kindness is mentioned followed by the same response. Each thing mentioned would alone have been cause for celebration, but then there’s more. For example:

“If [God] had split the sea for us and had not taken us through it on dry land, dayenu.”
“If [God] had drowned our oppressors in it and had not supplied our needs in the desert for forty years, dayenu.”
“If [God] had supplied our needs in the desert for forty years and had not fed us the manna, dayenu.”

On and on it goes. My apologies to people from the Jewish tradition if I didn’t get this in its exact form, but I think you can see the idea. We could each write our own version of dayenu, listing all the amazing things that have happened in our lives, each one of which is cause for thankfulness. But then there’s always more. Perhaps this might be a good way to bring our focus into a place of regular gratitude.

Find Your Focus

The word gratitude derives from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness or gratefulness, depending on context. Gratitude is such an effective way to keep our focus positive when things around us are going south. One doesn’t have to look far or very hard to find things going south these days—or ever, for that matter. If we look for negativity, we’ll find plenty. But if we focus on gratitude and positive things, it’s amazing how much we see that simply takes our breath away. It’s good to focus on what we have rather than what we lack.

The congregation to which I belong has had as its theme the past few years, “Live love. Stop hate.” I like that it helps me keep my focus on loving (not that this is easy, and plenty of days I fail and fall into the trap of criticism and complaint). When I remember the theme, I see so many examples of kindness all around me—so many examples of pure grace for which I’m grateful.

More Than A Day

Why don’t we try to do more than set aside one day a year in which to be grateful? Why not start each day thinking of at least three or four things for which we’re thankful? Better yet, why not also end the day with an even longer list? Make your list different each day or week rather than repeating the same things. That will make you pay attention to what’s going on in and around you. Be specific. Rather than simply, “I’m grateful for my partner,” you could say, “I’m grateful that my partner volunteered to vacuum so I could put my feet up after a tough day.”

In addition, you can take this a step further: Write a note to your beloved saying, “Thank you.” Or write a note or card to send snail mail to thank someone else for what they’ve done or mean to you. Since we get so little personal mail anymore, that would bring joy to its recipient—not to mention joy to you as well!

It’s been said that people who live with gratitude feel more alive, sleep better and have stronger immune systems—just in case you need a reason to be thankful! Research done by University of California-Davis psychologist Robert Emmons showed that keeping a gratitude journal significantly increased well-being and life satisfaction.

How can you add more gratitude into your life?

You can learn more about Sonia and her Life Coaching at Way2Grow Coaching.  Contact her for a complimentary strategy session or read her blogs at Topics list. She helps women discover tools to create the life they really want and deserve, especially women facing mid-life issues.

Thank YOU for taking time to read Sonia’s thoughts. I hope you found them inspiring. If so, please forward this to a friend. If you got this from a friend, you can have your very own free subscription by signing up at up at HowWiseThen. I’m currently giving away a couple of new resources: A schedule of some of the many events planned to commemorate the 400^th anniversary of the arrival of the Mayflower and a list of a few recommendations for the book lovers on your holiday shopping list.

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